just as well...

Just as well I am not going out. Weather is horrible... and I know he won't be there.
Just as well....

Of all the things you said and done,
you might not be the only one
I cared for you from the beginning
But you made me go over my limits
I hate to think it was not you
To make me sigh and dream the truth
Of all the roads ahead
I just chose the bad one,
Instead....!!!!

my poetry muse :( feeling very edgy

What a shame :(

Could not wait all day to just leave and be in the pub.
Imagined all day what to wear, what type of make-up to put on, what kind of accessories I had to match my handbag / shoes...
I even had a bath! It has been ages since my last bath. (For all of you out there who are thinking about how much my smell is, let me tell you something:- I shower everyday thank you very much!!!)
I did not even stop by and play with little niece. Just rushed out of the house and just went to the pub.
And...
he was not there! His friend was, though, and he informed me that A is not feeling very well. Infact got flu or something. A kind of virus in the air that is attacking everyone...
I wanted to share this virus with him, but ended sharing some drinks with his friend, instead. We really got on together and though he was nice I tried to keep him at arm's length!
What a shame! Another weekend up in fumes....
s**t

too excited!!!!

Too excited for this weekend!
I really hope he will be there!
My home and work lives are miserable so I need a light in this tunnel of darkness! :(
Please, please, please God!
Hear my plea and let him be there...
I promise I will be a good girl and stop smoking entirely, and will go to mass every sunday...
Just make him come....

what the heck....????

Lately I been having a lot of strange mobile phones. The number is still the same - private number - and all I hear is strange noises from the other end.
Am I being stalked or something? Would really wish to place a name to this person, for it is really scary, plus I know that all my friends would never do such a thing. I thought about the twins, but as naughty as they might be, I still can not immagine them to play such a trick!
Then I thought that T (my blind date) would have something to do with it. However, I never ever gave him my mobile phone. And L promised me that she did not, whilst I know for sure that J does not know it!
Then my mind wandered on A. Maybe he is too shy to speak to me on the phone. Once I said his name but the voice who said, "No! It's not him!" was not him for sure. A does not have a squeeky voice!
If this continues, I have to go to the police or something...
Anyways...
I am still eager to see A this weekend...
Will he be there? Who knows?
Will he remember me? Who knows?
Will he ask me out? Who knows?
What i know for certain is my little twin sisters decided that this weekend they are coming with me again!!!???
*sigh* *sigh* *sigh*

what a weekend!

Here I am finally! In my blessed home with all of its bad karma. But still! Here I am and pleased about it!
The weekend turned out beautifully - weather speaking. On Saturday I woke up early and packed some things to take with me. J & L came to pick me up and we went to Selmun. Great place, quiet... very, very quiet!
Though the scenary is indescribable! All the greenery... Birds singing (those that are still not hunted by the Kaccaturi)! The sea in the darkest shade of blue...
And then there was J's cousin. Could not see any resemblance. Where J is cute, T (his name) is not that handsome but has a great sense of humour that I and I repeat I made him forget about it.
To cut a long story short, we shook hands. There were two camps, one for us ladies the other for the men. We did a bbq in the evening, but the food did not cook right, 'cos no one of us is a chef expert. Sunday morning we went for a long walk and then it was when it hit me!!!! I was in the wilderness and no sanitary facilities! I wanted to die... But instead killed them! :(
The mosquitos, the flies, everything sticking to you, no fresh water... Could go on for ages! I made their life miserable, including mine as well...
So when it was scheduled that we go home on Sunday late in the evening, I was home early in the afternoon!
Guess so long for my intended blind date, though J really laughed about all these hassles.
To give L time to forget all about it and to feel the cosiness of my soft mattress again, today I took it leave! :)
No more camping for me. The twins were right on this, bless their heart!

Excuse me...!

Today was a bit of.... strange! Since L told me she was going out with J (the mailboy), I was really, really hectic and have not seen him for a long time, 'cos usually I would be locked up inside the boardroom taking notes for the memos, agendas etc...
So today, when I was sipping my coffee and thinking about what might have happened to A for not phoning me (now I am in that stage when I try to recall what I might have said or did to annoy him for him never wanting to see me again!), I hear J calling me with my real name!
I glanced up to see him standing in front of me. Oh! He looked quite good. Lucky, lucky L...!!
"Hey, long time no see!" he told me with a grin.
After I explained that I was a very busy girl, he handed me the mail and for an instance our hands brushed. Electricity seemed to pass between us, whilst I snatched my hand back. On the other hand, he looked quite composed.
He left and I found myself answering twenty telephones - one after the other! Anyway...
At around two, L gave me a call, saying that I should go with them camping this weekend! At first I was to refuse, for I really wished to see A and confront him. But, on second thoughts, I explained that even if I went, I would feel like a fish out of a bowl, for they were a couple, whilst I was as single as a... (can't think of anything to put here!)
L still insisted that I should go, for J came with this brilliant idea to make me a blind date with his cousin!
*sigh*
Could I refuse? Nope, I could find no plausible excuse! So I decided that after all, I can give it a try.
The only set-back is that I am not a camping-sort-of-person and when S and E found out about it, they were on the floor laughing their eyes out! The ba****ds!
*sigh*

annoyed *sigh*

I waited all of yesterday for him to phone. But, as you might have guessed, he did not! Maybe he was too busy to have time to phone me. Maybe a hello? How are you? I really enjoyed myself, when can I meet you again?... that kind of stuff... But he didn't and I do not wish to ponder on it anylonger. However I do all the time :(
All my enthusiasm to share with L the good news that I found a perfect guy, turned out to be a whole disillusionment. Jeez! When will I ever grow up?
S and E kept nagging me if he called. I replied in the negative. S told me not to call him myself, whilst E insisted that as we are equal now, I should. When I told her that I DO NOT HAVE HIS MOBILE, she slammed my bedroom door, only to re-appear five minutes later with the yellow pages to phone the pub and ask them about their clients! As if.... *sigh*
So here I am... alone... in this world... with no one to love...
UFFA!!!!

Saturday... and what AAAAA Fever!

Yesterday was soooo extraordinary!
Morning: Had to take S for her private lessons. Had to take E for a shopping spree but ended me buying clothes instead. Which was fantastic! I lost 7 kilos and now it is really showing. This summer I am going to be sooooo sexy :)
Afternoon: Just slept! Had to regain my beauty sleep and for once, everyone left me in peace. It was around seven that I woke up and prepared myself. Had two sms's from my friends. T had to babysit at the last minute :( whilst K was not feeling soooo well :( I had lost hope to go out when my double trouble sisters suggested that they could both come with me :)
Dressed in a renowed designer hipster jeans, a deep red skinny top and for the grand finale - a short black jacket! I had to admire myself for I looked quite alright.
At first, I could not find any parking space, even though my little brown mini eventually inserts itself anywhere, but it looked like we would have to walk a lot. It was during the second round that E spotted what seemed a girlfriend stomping away and the boyfriend angrily inserting himself in a Renault and shrieking his tyres as he fled - the right opportunity for me to park! Yippeee!
I know I should not have taken my sisters to this pub, but I could not resist the temptation to see him again. Thus, we entered only to be met by a half empty bar!
E began to grumble that there was not enough action, whilst S grumbled that she was hungry. We were about to leave, when... yes! he turned up!
Gorgeous as ever, wearing italian-style and I am a sucker for that kind of attire. It included: designer jeans, white open shirt, black blazer and a tie. I noticed he was wearing a dark brown cowboy boots that shows how wild he might be if given half the chance.
I tried to act as if I did not know where he was, but invertibly my eyes kept going on him. However, he did not move from his usual place - the ba****d!
I was discussing with S where she wanted to go and eat when I realised E was nowhere to be seen. Glanced around. Gulp! Double Gulp! Ggggrrrrr as it dawned on me that she was happily conversing with him. As if by magic, they both turned my way! Of all the cheekiness in this world...
To cut story short (as I am yawning and rubbing my eyes) me and him went out to have dinner. Of course, with E with S and with his two buddies as well!
But it was great. I gave him my mobile number. Will he phone? will tell you soon.
nite nite
do not let the bed bugs bite........
*a very happy sigh*

What!!!!!????

Today, L decided that we are not dedicating so much time together and so she informed me that we should try and go somewhere and have a cappuccino together.
Thus, after work, I prepared myself as best as I could (for today we had a conference and was really tight scheduled) and headed myself to this little cafetteria that I adore and which is in Attard (next to church).
She was already there waiting for me with that you-late-again! look on her face.
We ordered some cakes and the cappuccino and as I was sipping it slowly, her face took a serious expression as she placed the cup neatly on its saucer and looked at me.
"(my name - which begins with D), I got something to confess!"
At first I got that chilly feeling running through my spine. What could she had done?
"I know I have been neglecting you lately. I hope you will pardon me once you know why!"
I waited for her to continue, whilst she munched on the apple pie.
"I am going out with this guy..."
I did not let her finish as I congratulated her over and over again! At least one of us will not be looked down upon ever again for being 30 and not having a guy in her life.
"And you know him...!" she continued with a loud, deep sigh.
First image: that gorgeous guy at the Irish Pub. Second image: roaming inside my head for any other guy I have neglected lately and that my friend had grabbed instantly.
"It's J! The mailboy as you call him..." she explained exasperatly as I just starred at her.
"No way!" was my response as if in ... wow! you lucky, lucky girl for having the fortune of having such a guy... and we work together for crying out loud! How did I not suspect anything? Have I been THAT kind of busy?
Instead she understood me as if in... no way you are going to have him! He is mine you B***H!!
Thus hence forward, I had to explain to her what I really meant. And from nearly enemies, once more we became the best of friends as I blessed them both with all of my heart (and I really meant it, for those who portray me differently)!

Easy like Sunday Morning!

Just woke up!
What a weekend! What a weekend!
Heq-hemm...
Went out again to same place (the Irish Pub) and that cute guy was leaning against the bar with a Lager in his hand whilst chatting with two other budies. Oh! He looked cuter and sexier than last time.
Info on him:
Height: 5'9" - 6'1" (not good at calculating height, however he is TALL!)
Weight: Even under the jacket his muscles are defined
Face: Greyish (hawk-like) eyes, two bushy yet defined eyebrows, Greek nose (though not to harsh) and kissable, kissable lips!
Description is not enough. You should really, really see him. He looks like a model and forget the mail boy, he looks an amateur next to him. *sigh*
So... We got in and to our dismay we could not find an empty table. That's when T (one of my new friends) brought up a brillant idea - to move on!
I could not believe my luck. Then I suggested that at least we should try and buy at least one drink and finally they agreed.
We went to stand near him (my height only up to his shoulders) and tried to act cool but 1) my drink got spilled on the new, white, cherished, not-so-affordable, sister's blouse and 2) when he tried to chat with me I choked on the diet pepsi and could not breath!
Then and there, I grabbed my friends' hands and hauled them out.
No plans for tonight. Just checking my luck where it has gone to. Only my double-trouble sisters give me the energy to keep on fighting!

Hurray for popcorns!

The days seemed never to end. The inspiration of mum arranging first one room then all the others prompted me to begin an interior designing course and thus making me very busy whilst I have to search for pictures for my mood and theme boards, elevation drawings, painting... Such stuff, though such fun! :)
Well, I know you would be wondering what happened to me and my 'mail boy'. After one month, three days and 7 hours (not counting eh), he managed to see that all that glitters is not gold after all! And so he left her, though the rumours were that daddy's girl deserved better.
So... I was in seventh heaven, until he went out that same Saturday, got drunk and is now going out with a brunette to kill for! :(
Seeing my chances vanish in thin air, I decided to search for a guy myself and keep him. Yeep! So, one week ago, I went out with two new friends I acquired from the course and we hit it great! We went to this Irish Pub and tried to relax and look cool.
They brought us some appetisers, one being a bowl of popcorn! Can you believe it... Yam Yam, but still being on a diet {and smoking again :( }, we ended up throwing these little puffy white things to gorgoeus guys!
Being a bit dizzy with alcohol and not aiming right, one stuck in this handsome guy's hair! My friends were laughing with tears on the floor, whilst I had to walk over to him, excuse myself and taking it off his dark, black hair.
He turned his head slowly and the nicest pair of grey eyes stared back at me with confusion. I could hardly talk, let alone turn and walk away. I smiled at him, glanced down at this popcorn and of all the things I could have done, I just popped it in my mouth and ate it, which confused him even more! *sigh*
At the end of the evening, we were rushing out to grab a cab when he came to stand infront of me. I tried to duck him, but he stood firmly planted before me.
"I think you forgot these," he explained as he handed me a plastic bag full of popcorns.
"Those are not mine!" I protested as I tried to rush out and reach my friends.
I saw a grin appear along his sexy lips and a twinkle appeared in his eyes (or was it the alcohol working?)
"Then I have to eat them alone" and with that left my side.
Only in the chilly outdoors I realised that he was trying to befriend me! But it was too late...
*sigh* *sigh* *sigh*